Jenny Fitts Reynolds
In our writing classes, we have been working on developing sentences and paragraphs. Here are a few samples:
Sentence 1: Steven bruised.
Improved: Steven was impaled on the handlebars and bruised.
Improved: The brave and insane Steven was impaled with the blunt and heavy end of the left side of the handlebars which bruised and left an infectious, blackening, spreading bruise.
Sentence 1: She played.
Improved: She played outside on the swing.
Improved: She played outside on the blue swing with her brother, Mark.
Alec Huddleson (Expanded journal assmt)
OK, here is one of the bad things I did when I was little. So it took place in the mall. I remember going to a candy store and after we got candy, my mom and I walked to a restaurant. I was wearing overalls and I happily went into the restaurant with candy in the front pocket. The walls were green, light green, and I saw a trash can with one of those slimy lids. I sat at a booth across across from my mom. She said to wait to eat my candy until after our meal. I looked around thinking there were so many people, surely if I ate my candy before lunch my mom would dare not embarrass herself by getting mad. So fist I tested her by holding up the wrapped candy to my mouth. She said, "Alec Taylor Huddleson, don't you dare eat that!" But since I was stupid, I looked around at the people and I slowly unwrapped my candy...and held it up to my mouth. As it got close to my mouth, my mom rocketed up from her seat, grabbed it from me, and threw it out. I cried (man did I cry!). She threw me over her shoulder and stormed out of the restaurant into the car. I left crying all the way home. When we got home, she carried me upstairs, blasted me into the bathroom, and tossed me in the shower. She turned on the water and I immediately stopped crying because I love water! And that's my story.